New Fresh and Funny Jokes

New Fresh and Funny Jokes 1. Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.

Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.

Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.

Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?

New Fresh and Funny Jokes

2. “Wow you look great! Did you lose weight?”

“Hey – did you just call me fat in retrospect?

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3. A girl asks a boy: "Peter, how much do you love me?"

The boy looks her in the eyes, "Look up at the stars, that's how much I love you."

The girl is confused, “But it’s morning, there are no stars?”

Boy nods, "Exactly...

New Fresh and Funny Jokes

4. What would you get if you crossed a vampire with a dwarf? 

A creature that sucks blood from your knees.

5. Two flies are sitting on a pile of dog poop. One suggests to the other: “Do you want to hear a really good joke?”

The other fly replies: “But nothing disgusting like last time, I’m trying to eat here...

6. I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you seen my cat?” So I called the number and said that I didn’t. I like to help where I can...

7. Why is women’s soccer so rare?
It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit...

New Fresh and Funny Jokes

8. Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?

Michael: The good news.

Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

9. She: I have a doctor’s appointment today but I really don’t want to go… 

He: Just call in sick then...

10. At a first date:

He: “I work with animals every day!”

She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”

He: “I’m a butcher.... New Fresh and Funny Jokes