New Fresh and Funny Jokes

New Fresh and Funny Jokes 1. Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.

Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.

Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.

Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?

New Fresh and Funny Jokes

2. “Wow you look great! Did you lose weight?”

“Hey – did you just call me fat in retrospect?

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3. A girl asks a boy: "Peter, how much do you love me?"

The boy looks her in the eyes, "Look up at the stars, that's how much I love you."

The girl is confused, “But it’s morning, there are no stars?”

Boy nods, "Exactly...

New Fresh and Funny Jokes

4. What would you get if you crossed a vampire with a dwarf? 

A creature that sucks blood from your knees.

5. Two flies are sitting on a pile of dog poop. One suggests to the other: “Do you want to hear a really good joke?”

The other fly replies: “But nothing disgusting like last time, I’m trying to eat here...

6. I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you seen my cat?” So I called the number and said that I didn’t. I like to help where I can...

7. Why is women’s soccer so rare?
It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit...

New Fresh and Funny Jokes

8. Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?

Michael: The good news.

Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

9. She: I have a doctor’s appointment today but I really don’t want to go… 

He: Just call in sick then...

10. At a first date:

He: “I work with animals every day!”

She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”

He: “I’m a butcher.... New Fresh and Funny Jokes

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Top Ten English Funny Jokes - desiindianhappy

Top Ten English Funny Jokes - desiindianhappy 

1. Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

2. Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: Nine.

Top Ten English Funny Jokes - desiindianhappy

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3. A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.

4. Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?

My name is Paul.

Top Ten English Funny Jokes - desiindianhappy

5. My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

6. What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?.............. Snowballs.

7. Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick, “What school?”

8. Mom, where do tampons go?"

"Where the babies come from, darling."

"In a stork???... Top Ten English Funny Jokes - desiindianhappy

9. Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.

10. My wife’s cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food... Top Ten English Funny Jokes - desiindianhappy

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Happy Fun facts for your 5-year-old

Hello my all kids friend Happy Fun facts for your 5-year-old Five-year-olds seem to have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Not only that, but kids this age also get a kick out of knowing something that othersdon't. Read on for fun facts to amaze and amuse your child.

Amazing you

• In your whole life, your mouth will make about 10,000 gallons of spit. That's enough to fill a giant swimming pool.
• Babies have more bones than grown-ups. You’re born with about 300 bones, but when you’re grown up you end up with around 260. What happens? As you get older some of your small bones grow together into big ones.
• Every person on earth has a different fingerprint. We all have different tongue prints, too.

• Happy Fun facts for your 5-year-old

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Big and Small

• The smallest insects of the world are called fairyflies, a kind of wasp. Fairyflies are as thin as a thread. They aren’t strong enough to fly well, so mostly let wind carry them from place to place.
• The biggest insect on earth is the giant walking stick, which can grow to about 13 inches long. That's about as long as a chopstick.
• Termites make the biggest insect nests of the world. A termite nest found in Australia was as large as a house. Another nest found in Africa was a tall as a building.

• Happy Fun facts for your 5-year-old

Animal body facts

• Hippos don’t have to worry about packing sunscreen. Their skin makes a pink slime that blocks the sun. Happy Fun facts for your 5-year-old
• Crocodile mommies never have to teach their babies not to stick their tongue out at other crocodiles. This is because crocodiles can’t stick their tongue out – their tongue is attached to the top of their mouth.
• Honeybees have hair on their eyes to help keep their eyeballs clean. The hair catches dirt and pollen.
• Honeybees have hair all over their bodies, like dogs and cats. Do you think it tickles?
• Butterflies have about 1,200 eyes. But they're clustered together, so they kind of look like one big eye.
• Starfish don’t have brains. They feel their way through life just using the senses of touch and taste and smell.

• Happy Fun facts for your 5-year-old

• Space Happy Fun facts for your 5-year-old

  • Comets are space rocks made mostly from ice and dust, just like giant dirty snowballs.
  • Meteorites are rocks from outer space.
  • The sun is a giant ball of exploding fire. It’s so far away it won’t hurt you unless you stay outside too long and get a sunburn, but it makes you warm. People on earth need the sun’s warmth to live comfortably.
  • A galaxy is a huge bunch of stars that hang out near each other.
  • Asteroids are small planets that are very hard to see, even with a giant telescope.

  What's that called?

  • We usually call those cute little white cat paws “boots.” But they’re really called gloves.
  • A group of cats is called a clutter or a chowder.
  • A group of wolves is called a pack.
  • Baby eels are called elvers.
  • A group of monkeys is called a band or a troop.
  • A group of lions is called a pride.
  • Baby koalas are called joeys.
  • A group of dogs is called a pack.
  • A group of whales is called a gam or a pod.
  • Baby turtles are called hatchlings.
  • A group of chickens is called a clutch or a brood.
  • Baby seahorses are called colts, just like baby horses that live on land.

  • Eating

    • Cows have four stomachs.
    • Pretty much the only thing moles eat is worms, and they eat tons of them.
    • The front teeth of rodents like rats and mice never, ever stop growing. The only reason they don’t get huge is because they get worn down by hard food, like seeds and grains.
    • If you’re skiing in Sweden and get hungry for a Happy Meal, no worries. Sweden has a ski-through McDonald's.
    • A cow needs to drink four gallons of water to make one gallon of milk.
    • A python snake can eat a whole pig in one big gulp.

    Getting around

    • Walking catfish can live on land or in water. And they really do walk, but it looks more like wiggling on their tummy.
    • Giraffes probably can’t swim, since no one has ever seen one doing this.
    • Porcupines float in water.
    • Elephants walk on tiptoe.

    Hear this

    • If you want to hear the thumpa-thumpa of a shrimp’s heart, put your ear against his head. That’s where his heart is.
    • Most lizards don’t talk at all. Except geckos, who chirp and growl. And iguanas, who make a low hiss.
    • Chameleons make a soft hoot. But this doesn’t come from their mouth. It’s the sound of their body vibrating.

    I didn't know that!

    • Take a close look at this sentence: “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy yellow dog.” It uses every letter in the alphabet.
    • Zebras are actually white, with black stripes.
    • Cats sleep about 16 hours a day.
    • Every zebra on earth has a unique pattern of stripes that no other zebra has.
    • What do a little barnyard chicken and a mighty T-Rex have in common? Scientists studying their bones have discovered they're related, sort of like cousins.
    • Two earthquakes happen every minute somewhere in the world... Happy Fun facts for your 5-year-old

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Best 20 Silly Jokes for Kids or Children

Best 20 Silly Jokes for Kids or Children  Now that your big kid's sense of humor has progressed, she appreciates riddles and more complex humor. Here are 20 great kid-friendly jokes to make your child laugh.

Best 20 Silly Jokes for Kids or Children  

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1. Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7, 8, 9.

2. Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A: A tuba toothpaste.

3. Q: Knock, knock. Who's there?
A: Pizza.
Q:Pizza who?
A.Pizza really great guy!

4. Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours?
A: Nacho cheese!

5. Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The elf-abet.

Best 20 Silly Jokes for Kids or Children 

6. Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
A: He wanted to go to high school.

7. Q: Knock, knock. Who's there?
A.Interrupting, squawking parrot.Interrupting, squawking parr-SQUAWKKKKKKKKKKK!

8. Q: Where do pencils go for vacation?
A: Pencil-vania.

9. Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
A: To go with the traffic jam!

10. Q: Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
A: Because they might peel!

Best 20 Silly Jokes for Kids or Children 

11. Q: Knock, knock. Who's there?
A. Little old lady.
Q: Little old lady who?
A.Wow, I didn't know you could yodel!

12. Q: Knock, knock. Who's there?
A. Lettuce.
Q: Lettuce who?
A. Lettuce in, it's freezing out here! After many years, a prisoner is finally released. He runs around yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!" A little kid walks up to him and says, "So what? I'm 4."

13. Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it.

14. Q: Which flower talks the most?
A: Tulips, of course, because they have two lips!

15. Q: A man arrived in a small town on Friday. He stayed for two days and left on Friday. How is this possible?
A: His horse's name is Friday!

16. Q: Knock, knock. Who's there?
A. Cows go.
Q: Cows go who?
A. No, silly. Cows go "moo!"

18. Q: What did 0 say to 8?
A: Nice belt!

19. Q: What did the mushroom say to the fungus?
A: You're a fun guy [fungi].

20. Q: Why couldn't the pony sing himself a lullaby?
A: He was a little hoarse......    Best 20 Silly Jokes for Kids or Children 

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5 Dosto Ki Comedy Kahani

5 Dosto Ki Comedy Kahani ...... Ek Room me 5 dost rehte the.

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1. Pagal
2. Fudu
3. Dimag
4. Koi Nahi
5. Kisi

Ek Din Koi Nahi ne Kisi Ko Mar Diya... 5 Dosto Ki Comedy Kahani

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